Scorpio, printed in big collegiate letters, because subtlety was never on the syllabus. It reads like a team jersey, which feels about right: the intensity, the loyalty, the memory of that thing you said in 2019. Consider it a warning label in maroon and white. Great for November birthdays, group gifts for the friend who leads with their chart, or anyone who reads horoscopes out loud at brunch. Also works on the Scorpio who claims not to believe in any of it and then wears this every single week. Printed on the Bella+Canvas 3001, the soft retail-fit tee everyone ends up stealing: Airlume combed ring-spun cotton, side-seamed, true to size.